No subject, really
by Di-Bee
Summary: Nikola wants to send Helen a special message, before she leaves for Hollow Earth.


Title : No subject, really

Author : DiBee (di_50)

Bêta Reader : Passionate Cec' (thanks a lot and beyond!)

Characters/pairing : Nikola Tesla, Helen Magnus (friendship)

Rating : K+

Warning : mention of possible (not nice) deaths

Challenge : Written for the 6th prompt of the sfaflashfic community : epistolary fic

Summary : Nikola wants to send Helen a special message, before she leaves for Hollow Earth

Author Note : Thanks, thanks, so much thanks to Passionate Cec'! This fic was not was I first had in mind for this challenge, but it works better than the other idea probably would have.

To : Helen M.

Subject : No subject, really

Helen,

I am not sure why I am writing this. I really am not. I was never really good with words anyway. My 'naming' abilities speak for themselves. And you can hardly do any worse than an e-mail. Or maybe it is the old me talking, appealing to the old you, or the memories of James. Whoever is talking, please just keep reading. Unless it is pages long, then skip to the end, because if there is a point, it shall be there. If there is not, I probably would not have sent that, and you would not have read it, and writing this all does not make any sense.

Before you ask yourself, I am neither drunk nor high. At least not from alcohol or drugs. Maybe a little from pain, but I guess I should be used to it by now. So are you. This is one of the reason why we are so similar in some aspects. Living with the certainty you will bury most if not all of your friends is cruel. Now I know I will not have to do this anymore, but part of me is more afraid to die than seeing others die. Maybe because there will be nothing left to regret, and people will forget about me easily once I am not here to avoid Edison's name spree. I am as much of a selfish arrogant bastard as you are a strong willed confident woman. That is what we are most of the time, but we know better. We have our weak sides, and hell might actually really freeze over before we agree to show it to the world. By hell, of course, I mean our lives, and by freeze over, I mean death. I know I should not be translating my thoughts so long after having gotten rid of that theatrical accent of mine, but it is late, and we are both tired, and I am getting confused, and getting you confused as well is not my goal. I do not know what is. Maybe I just needed to tell someone about me, leave a last statement of real humanity of some kind before the end, whenever it may come. And you are the only candidate. Meaning, as much as I confide in your judgment when it comes to protégés, the Sun will freeze over before I talk to William. Even I have my limits.

Either way, thank you. For everything. Especially the wine. I have not touched a drop of it today, and it probably is a bad sign. Or it may be my conscious talking. Dying of liver cancer would be rather inglorious, don't you think? Says the former vampire to the woman with radiation sickness. It is unfair that you should die first. Not because I would like you to see me die, but because you deserve to live, and certainly not die like that. And John... I do not want to have to face him. If you die, I probably won't. If you do not, it should be alright. He is not nearly as bad as he once was. I guess old age changed us all. Or maybe you do have a good impact on mad people. James, John, myself... I suppose the list is much longer than that. You did good, Helen. You assumed your choices every step of the way. It is one of my reasons for admiring you. Perhaps, maybe not the main, but immortal or not, I am still a man. Even though most people appear to have forgotten about that. You have not. Add that to all the things for which I owe you and will never be able to pay you back if you do not find a way to get back on those high-heeled feet of yours. I never understood how you could walk with them, by the way. Besides, no matter how tall you stand, John will still be taller than you. Balder, too, but please, let us keep it that way. There are some terrible ways to die, but there is hardly worse than seeing a friend wasting away in fast forward fashion, and I know if there is one person on this Earth I do not need to convince of that, you are that person. Always have been. And it took me a lifetime and a long mail to write that. I am so sorry...

Nikola

From : Helen M.

To : Nikola T.

Subject : Re: No subject, really

I will be right there.


End file.
